Wednesday, September 2, 2009


The enemy has introduced me as Bill. For the last time this season, he is right, hello. I enjoy winning seasons, winning bowl games, and not going to college in northern Indiana.

Here's how I think the 2009 season will play out:

ND drops 6 to USC, Pitt, Mich St, Connecticut, Michigan, and their big brother Boston College. NBC axes its deal with the school because they're tired of relying on "tradition" to get ratings. After being fired by ESPN, Lou Holtz crawls back to South Bend where he MC's the school's pep rallies and even the students have to admit, this guy is lame. Charlie Weis lands a job with the Raiders after an impressive second trip to the Hawaii Bowl (is that what it's called? Aloha?) One year from Notre Dame irrelevance! College football gods, please make this happen.

Meanwhile Penn State cruises to the Rose Bowl to play Florida. To not be too biased I'm just going to predict that we will make the national championship game, no guarantees from there. I like to be reasonable. However, if this happens I will send hooker after hooker to Tebow's door the night before the game in the hopes that one special lady will break down Boy Wonder and make him understand the true meaning of life. It's Florida's only weakness this year, and it needs to be exploited.

Now for the task at hand: Akron. Detractors say what you will, but this is the start of something remarkable and not to be overlooked. I look for Penn state to win 52-17.

10 a.m. this Saturday I will be awake, jersey donned, humming "Fight On State," and cracking an egg in my Bud Light. Never Graduate.

(Side note: a loss to Akron will cause me to terminate my involvement in this blog.)


  1. I love this.

    And the nostalgia surrounding your dress-donning New Year’s Eve just made me laugh out loud at work. Fantastic.

    Banter on.

  2. I hate everything about this website

  3. Can we please start a memorial to LaGarrette Blount?

  4. He's my new favorite unstable athlete and he deserves his credit

  5. The enemey introduced you as "Billy"

    I know this post is old as hell but come on, if you can't be accurate in your first sentence ever written, I don't want to read anything you write.