Sunday, October 4, 2009

Dear Diary...Notre Dame-Washington

It’s time to fire up yet another diary for what is hopefully a less stressful Notre Dame football game than the last few weeks. I’m starting this diary in a true sports mecca—the basement of Dr. John Ifkovits in Bethlehem, PA where I watched almost every Notre Dame game my junior and senior years of high school. He’s a Notre Dame grad who along with his son (also John) transformed their basement into the perfect place to watch a game…or nine. We currently have nine different games going on nine tv’s and a 10th game on ESPN360. Imagine watching March Madness down here…heaven.

The focus of course is squarely on the Notre Dame game, which is on 65 inch HD television at the center of the room. Billy in case you’re wondering the Penn State game is on the 10inch TV underneath another TV. All is right in the world. Let’s get it started.
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3:34 The Irish burst out of the tunnel to a surprisingly clear sky. The campus is absolutely gorgeous in HD, gives me goosebumps. Tom Hammond in HD gives me goosebumps too but in the exact opposite way.

3:35 Jimmy has a different look this week as he starts throwing. I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing. He certainly isn’t as upbeat as he has been. I’m hoping he’s just focused and ready to take care of business, but something just doesn’t seem normal…

3:38 Our favorite sideline reporter asks Sarkisian what the most important thing the Huskies need to do to win this game is protect the ball. He’s right on the money—if they don’t turnover the ball they’ll be in a position to win this game. They turned the ball over zero times against Southern Cal, played conservatively, tightened up in the red zone, and stole a game where they weren’t the better team. That’ll be the formula again if they’re going to knock us off. Notre Dame has deferred.

3:42 Another special teams lapse to start the game as the Huskies return it to the 39. Tack on another five for Notre Dame’s first penalty of the game (offsides) and already I don’t have a good feeling.

3:43 First carry goes for five even though it looked like they had him for no gain. We really need to start finishing our tackles. We may get away with it against Purdue and Washington but we won’t get away with it against Southern Cal.

3:44 FUMBLLLLLLLE AND THE IRISH RECOVER! Te’o gets his hand on the ball as McCarthy was taking the receiver down and Blanton comes up with the recovery. Manti Te’o has made plays from the moment he stepped on the field against Nevada, it’s time to get him on the field every play. There’s a chance the runner’s knee may have been down because he was kind of twisting weirdly, I’m hoping that the replay doesn’t show much.

3:45 This one is going to be overturned, runner’s knee was clearly down.

3:47 Alright, play is overturned but it’s still 3rd and 1. Total confusion from the referees and the chain gang as to where the ball should be spotted. If there’s one thing that’s been quite clear to this point in the season it’s that competence is not a requirement for referee. Neither is having eye sight…nor common sense. It’s time to step up and deliver a stop here defense.

3:49 False start on Washington backs them up to 3rd and 6.

3:50 First down as Locker scrambles and drags Scott Smith for a few yards. Te’o is the assigned spy but he was really out of position on that one.

3:51 Pat Haden is talks about how Locker was a run-first quarterback his first couple years at Washington. Wait, you mean Ty Willingham’s offense in Seattle was snap it to the athletic quarterback, make one read, and then tell him to run? Really? Refresh my memory but wasn’t that the Return to Glory offense of 2002 with Carlyle Holiday at the helm? I suppose no one ever accused him of being the Molder of Quarterbacks.

3:52 Washington converts another 3rd and 1 and they’re inside the Irish 25. Pretty poor tackling already. Next play is a little wide receiver screen that goes for 13 and they’re into the red zone.

3:54 Jake Locker quarterback draw right up the middle for a touchdown. He carried a couple people into the endzone including Te’o. Don’t get me wrong, I want to see Te’o on the field no matter what...but he didn’t play a particularly good spy on that drive. The two plays where Locker scrambled Manti was totally out of position. The first time he whiffed, the second time he delivered only a glancing blow and didn’t have a chance to stop Locker short of the goal line. For the record I’d much rather him out there taking his lumps than Toryan out there. There will be a learning curve but it will pay off.

3:58 Good return by Theo starts us at the 35. First play Golden takes a reverse 31 yards into Washington territory. Good to see the Golden Tate plan of getting him the ball on just about every play is still in effect.

3:59 Robby Parris needs a new picture for the intros…badly.

4:00 After a five yard rush, Armando takes his second carry right up the middle and inside the 10. The offensive line opened up a HUGE hole—great block by Bobby Burger to seal it. You want to talk about most underrated contributors on the team this year look no farther than Bobby B.

4:02 Two negative plays—one from C-Loss’s beloved Wildcat—back us up to 3rd and goal from the 16. Just taking the gun, lowering it just so, and unloading on our own foot. Dammit. Rudolph slips on a jump ball in the endzone and it’s time to trot out Nick Tausch. That’s disheartening that we couldn’t keep that momentum going. It’s becoming apparent that the tendency of shooting ourselves in the foot is not going away any time soon. That’s a pretty disheartening thing to have to come to grips with.

4:03 Tausch splits the uprights and it’s 7-3 Huskies.

4:06 Better coverage on this kickoff starts the Washington drive at the 27 but it’s backed up even more thanks to a block in the back.

4:08 Te’o sticks the running back for a loss on 2nd down after good coverage on first down. This is why you stay with him and take the bad with the good. Big third and 9 here, we really need to get a stop and get the defense off the field.

4:09 Of course the Huskies pick it up with a screen to the left. Tack on another 15 yards for an absolutely ticky-tack call for roughing the passer. Locker didn’t even get knocked down, what the hell was the basis for that penalty? I know I constantly harp on stupid penalties but that was just a bad call.

4:10 The Irish force a 3rd and 5 and Kerry Neal wrangles Locker down short of the line to force a punt. Certainly not upset with that defensive possession. Really we gave up one play of 10 yards. That penalty was an absolute joke. Crappy punt gives us the ball at the 20 yard. Alright, let’s start rolling Irish.

4:14 Wildcat gadget play was a double reverse to Clausen who was trying to air it out deep but gets sacked for a 10 yard loss. The basement (now with six people in it) is not happy with all this trickeration.

4:15 Jimmy moves around in the pocket and finds Robby Parris for a 25 yard gain and a first down. Parris then takes a divot with his knee that looks like a Phil Mickelson Lob Wedge. Little soggy out there. Parris is quietly becoming a pretty clutch player.

4:16 Next play is a seven yard out to Tate…tack on another 15 for a late hit. Tate was clearly out of bounds but the hit didn’t even knock him down. The refs are calling a really tight game—hopefully our players note this.

4:18 Armando Allen splits out wide to the right and catches a nice little comeback pass for a first down on 3rd and 6. Irish are inside the 30.

4:20 The first quarter comes to a close with the Irish facing a 3rd and 1. I’m all for being innovative on offense…but we’re playing Washington, not Southern Cal. Line up and impose our will. Let’s start doing that with this play please.

4:24 Robert Hughes never even has a chance. Stuffed. That looked like the line from 2007—everyone just went backwards. It’s time for another Nick Tausch field goal attempt. He splits the uprights again from 40 and the deficit is cut to 7-6. I hope Verducci is verbally abusing the line on the bench.

4:28 First down for Washington from the 29. Brian Smith misses a tackle and it’s a six yard run. Can we just finish a dam tackle already? Te’o stuffs the runner coming off the edge on 2nd down. 3rd and 2, we need a three and out.

4:29 SACK BY KLM. The Irish sniffed out a screen and Locker just had no where to go with four different defenders bearing down on him. Great three and out by the defense, they’ve really stepped up since the first drive.

4:30 Wow, a 57 yard booming punt is fair caught at the 11—which means it carried a full thirty yards further than Maust’s punt against Michigan. Isn’t it amazing how a punter can subtly shift momentum in a game? We just forced a three and out but just a little bit of air was let out of the balloon because of that bomb.

4:33 HUUUUUUUGHES rambles up the middle on 2nd and 5 for a big gain. Another great block by Bobby Burger as the right side of Young and Trevor Robinson owns the Husky defensive line.

4:34 We take a break from the game to chat with Dr. Alex Flanagan. Apparently this was the most appropriate time for her to explain turf toe to the masses. The best way to explain a foot injury—of course—is with your hand. You can tell she practiced this all week but the cameraman can’t figure out whether to zoom in on her hand or her face or both. She reluctantly kicks it back to the field right after she talks about “the little piggy who went to market” because they didn’t stop the game for this tutorial.

4:35 Golden comes up with a 14 yard catch over the middle for first down on a 3rd and 6.

4:35 Back to Dr. Flanagan. To sum up her point she just holds up this picture (shown below). Saying she's a valuable asset to the telecast doesn't do her justice.
4:36 Play-action pass to Rudolph down the seam for a 30 yard gain. Great athletic move after he comes down with it to make a guy miss and get five extra yards.

4:37 TOUCHDOWN IRISH TO KYLE RUDOLPH! ANNNNNNNNNND IT’S COMING BACK THANKS TO A HOLD BY PAUL DUNCAN. GOOD BLEEPING LORD. FOUR STRAIGHT GAMES WHERE WE’VE HAD POINTS COME OFF THE BOARD. THAT HAS TO BE SOME SORT OF TERRIBLE RECORD. I WANT TO BARF.

4:38 Jimmy completes a 14 yarder to Golden on first down. When he plants his foot he takes a foot by foot divot. Great etiquette in replacing it.

4:39 Jimmy burns a timeout on 3rd and 6. De ja vu. I am so disgusted by this terrible, terrible trend.

4:42 Jimmy forces a throw to the endzone and it’s time for yet another field goal. Tausch splits them and we’ve taken the lead 9-7. Washington has to be absolutely thrilled with the scoreboard—we’ve moved at will on all three possessions and we’ve only posted nine points. They’ve been stuffed since the first drive and they’ve got a seven. This is fine if we hit the accelerator and keep going. Please don’t head down the same path as we did the last few weeks.

4:47 Sergio Brown lucks out when Locker delivers a beautiful pass that’s dropped. Sergio has good coverage but doesn’t get his head turned around in time to make an actual play on the ball—in other words the Ambrose Wooden Special. I just pulled up Dwayne Jarrett’s NFL career stats to make me feel better. It didn’t help.

4:48 After another drop on 2nd down Brian Smith stops Locker short of the marker on a 3rd down scramble and it’s time for another punt. Good stand by the defense—albeit deceivingly good. There were two passes that were flatout dropped, both would’ve been big plays. Washington punts.

4:52 Screen play on first down that is set up beautifully but Dan Wenger flatout whiffs on his block and it’s blown up for a two yard loss. Dammit Daniel…

4:53 Jimmy Clausen throws a backwards pass ten yards over Armando’s head that’s recovered by Washington and run in for a touchdown. I’m flabbergasted, I have absolutely no idea what in God’s name he was looking at, what he was thinking…is that Pat Dillingham out there? I’m totally baffled. Don’t know what else to say, I’m at a total loss. 14-9 Washington.

4:57 They reviewed the play but it was clearly a backwards pass. Riddick gets stuffed short of the 20 yard line and suddenly Washington is fired up and all the momentum has shifted to the guys in purple and white. I still don’t know what’s going on.

4:59 TOUCHDOWN GOLDEN TATE!!!!!!!!! HE TAKES A 15 YARD PASS, BREAKS THREE TACKLES AND TAKES IT 70 YARDS TO THE HOUSE. TALK ABOUT MOMENTUM SWINGS. HUGE. THIS IS A BOB DAVIE SILENT H (H)UUUUUUUUUUGE. He’s in the process of making the leap right now and it’s a thing of beauty.

5:01 Good coverage and a block in the back pins the Huskies inside their own 10. Momentum clearly with the Irish again.

5:02 Darrin Walls gets picked on a wheel route and gives up a 30 yard pass down the left sideline. What a punch in the gut.

5:04 Manti Te’o makes a tackle on first down (he’s the leading tackler to this point by the way) and then Kerry Neal absolutely blows up a run up the middle. He got off the ball so quick that Polk had no chance. 3rd and 12 and the Irish call timeout with 2:11 left. Come on defense, stick’em here.

5:06 The pass rush forces a bad throw and it’s time for another punt. Great stand by the Irish defense. Golden, if you weren’t you I’d be livid about the fact that you just ran and slid to field a punt. Even Joey Getherall would’ve stepped away from that one.

5:07 After a first down throw to Shaq Evans for 13 yards Armando lets an easy ball go through his fingers and right into the defender’s hands for an interception. Goddammit, that’s another terrible mental mistake. Not even fair that Jimmy gets credited with a pick.

5:08 FUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE, IRISH RECOVER! ETHAN JOHNSON WITH THE SACK, JOHN RYAN (HIGH FIVE!) WITH THE RECOVERY!!!!!! TALK ABOUT A GAME OF MOMENTUM SWINGS, GOOD LORD. FIRST DOWN IRRRRRRRISH.

5:11 After a first down throw to Golden Tate, Golden preens over the defender who couldn’t bring him down. I love his swagger but he needs to tone it down. There’s a fine line between swagger and just being a punk and he’s teetering. Just don’t show up other people, especially on such insignificant plays.

5:11 Jimmy goes down after losing his footing when scrambling.

5:12 They show Floyd and my heart sinks. He’s also in a sling today—he didn’t have one on at Purdue. I wonder what the deal is with that. Thinking about how explosive our offense would be with him in there makes me want to shed tears.

5:13 Clausen is flushed out of the pocket and has to throw it away on second down.

5:14 Clausen loses his footing again and goes down for another big loss. The announcers try to blame it on his turf toe but really the field is just sloppy. We really need to build up a lead because I certainly don’t feel comfortable having to deal with coming back with sub-par conditions that could get worse. It’s time for our first punt of the day and Ben Turk’s first punt of his career. Please unload one Ben.

5:15 Turk delivers a decent punt. Long way to go to get into field goal range for the Huskies.

5:17 On 3rd down Locker completes a huge pass down the middle for 29 yards. They run up to the line and zip another 24 yard pass down the seam to get into field goal range. Are our defensive backs awake? Does Harrison Smith know our season started a month ago?

5:18 Field goal Huskies. 17-16. What an absolutely terrible turn of events in the last twenty five seconds.

5:19 It's worth pointing out that Dr. Alex Flanagan has changed out of her scrubs and into her black designer Adidas vest as she interviews Charlie on the way to the locker room.

5:39 At halftime I left the oasis of Ifky’s basement to head back to my house to watch the second half with my Dad, who was unavoidably detained at a cocktail party for the first half of the game. We always seem to get as little out of everything as we possibly can. We should be leading this game by two touchdowns and we’re losing. We’re really playing pretty dam well but it’s the same story different day.

5:41 The Irish start the second half off with a BANG. GOLDEN TATE takes a pass 77 yards and it’s first and goal before I have my laptop out and set up again. It’s starting to pour now, POUND THE BALL IN AND DON’T WALK AWAY WITH THREE POINTS.

5:42 First and goal is stoned. Second and goal Jimmy throws it away. I’ve seen this script before.
5:43 Armando is hit in the backfield. Stuffed. Three plays, -1 yards. Another field goal attempt. I guess right now I should just resign myself to the fact that this game will come down to the final minute even though we’re clearly outplaying the opposition. I don’t know how to describe my mood; it’s like a combination of disheartened, disgusted, and resigned. Tausch splits the uprights, 19-17 Irish.

5:48 Jake Locker overthrows a receiver who had three steps on Robert Blanton. Bullet dodged. On second down Chris Holt drags four defenders for four extra yards and a first down.

5:52 After a Washington time out the Huskies complete a quick pass out to the right that gets taken ten yards for a first down. Great blocking by their receivers, our corners had no chance. They run the same exact play to the opposite side for another 15 yards. This is what we normally do to people.

5:54 Brian Smith whiffs on another tackle and Washington moves it close to another first down. Missed tackles. From the leader of the defense. Ugh.

5:55 Locker takes a quarterback draw inside the ten yard line. Darrin Walls saves a touchdown, Harrison Smith took a terrible angle and couldn’t even get a hand on Locker.

5:56 Touchdown Huskies. Walls interfered but it didn’t make a difference. That was too easy. 24-19 Washington.

6:00 Theo gets stuffed inside the 15 yard line on the return but Washington was offsides so it’s time for a re-kick. Is it too much to ask for a huge special team swing play here?

6:01 Theo to the 35. Meh, beats the 15.

6:02 Big play by Golden Tate on second down takes it over midfield and we’re on the march again. Tate now has over 200 yards and a looooooong-time Notre Dame record for receiving yards (276 by Jim Seymour) is in serious jeopardy.

6:05 Great run by Armando but he’s shaken up. Brings up 3rd and 1. Jimmy sneaks it for a first down…but it’s called back thanks to a false start by Bobby Burger. Gun. Foot. Good Lord Guys. 3rd and 6.

6:06 Clausen loses his footing again and it’s another loss. Time to punt from the Washington 40. Turk blasts it into the endzone. Suddenly serious alarm bells are starting to sound and that familiar sinking feeling is in full effect. I cannot take a loss here; we need to win this game. This will take every iota of momentum away from this season and I don’t know if I can get off the mat again like I did after Michigan. Please don’t ruin my year Irish.

6:10 One play, one first down. Blood pressure rising.

6:11 A forty yard run by Chris Polk. Brian Smith misses, Harrison Smith (who is quickly sprinting up my list of people I don’t want to see on the field ever…is it coincidence that he’s wearing Ambrose’s number?), Ethan Johnson, and then finally Te’o drags him down. Terrible tackling, an absolute embarrassment.

6:14 A couple self-inflicted wounds (false starts) by the Huskies back them up to the fringe of field goal range. 3rd and 16, this is huge, need a stop.

6:15 Locker completes a pass inside the ten yard line when Raeshon McNeil gets totally turned around. Dammit to hell.

6:16 TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE TACKLING BY THE IRISH ALLOWS A FIVE YARD GAIN WHEN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A THREE YARD LOSS. BRIAN SMITH, IAN WILLIAMS, BLANTON, ALL JUST WHIFFED…A COMPLETE EMBARRASSMENT, THEY SHOULD HAVE TO WATCH THIS PLAY ON LOOP FOR TWO HOURS AND DO FIVE PUSHUPS EVERY TIME THEY SEE THEMSELVES MISS A TACKLE.

6:17 Locker stopped short of the goal line on 3rd and 1. 4th and goal on the one-inch line, Washington is going for it. Does this sound familiar? This could be one of the biggest plays of the season. Timeout Notre Dame. Come on Irish, please deliver.

6:19 STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEED. HUGE STOP BY THE IRISH. GREAT PENETRATION BY ETHAN JOHNSON AND THE IRISH HOLD. PONTIAC GAME-CHANGING MOMENT.

6:21 Hughes pounds it down the middle for twelve yards to move them out from the goal line. Good hard run with a nifty move thrown in at the end. A three yard run by Hughes ends the third quarter. We have to make it happen on this drive.

6:24 Fourth quarter opens with a pass to Hughes who rumbles for 24 yard gain down the middle of the field and then delivers some punishment to the people who bring him down.

6:26 Jimmy scrambles to the right after Sam Young plays matador and delivers a 15 yard seed to Shaq Evans for a first down over midfield.

6:27 HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHES!!!!!! Robert busts through for a 37 yard run down inside the ten yard line. Right side of the line (specifically Stewart) just FLATTENED the defensive line. Please finish off this drive.

6:28 Robby Parris drops a touchdown. Hits him in the face. Goodness gracious.

6:29 Hughes goes for two yards and it’s 3rd down on the six.

6:30 Washington sits back with seven people in the secondary and Jimmy forces a pass to Golden that falls incomplete. Another field goal. Five times we’ve been in the red zone, five times we’ve walked away with field goals. Pathetic. Not finishing is the story of our season. Washington 24, Notre Dame 22 with 12:23 left.

6:33 Zeke Motta comes up with a stop before the returner gets to the 25. We need a three and out here.

6:35 Notre Dame forces a 3rd and long but Locker rolls to his left and completes a pass for a first down. Talk about deflating.

6:36 Polk runs off the left tackle for 19 yards after ANOTHER missed tackle by Harrison Smith. Get him off the field, he’s been atrocious. Get Danny McCarthy out there, get Ray Ray out there, get anyone out there.

6:37 Great coverage by Gary Gray on a bomb toward the endzone. He’s really seemed to come into his own the couple weeks. I would hope he’s inching up the depth chart because my confidence in Darrin Walls has eroded to a dangerous level. Kyle McCarthy makes a shoestring tackle that prevents a huge gain. It’s 3rd and 3, now under 10 minutes.

6:38 Notre Dame holds as Locker overthrows a well-covered receiver. They’re going for it, another huge play for the defense. Huskies burn their second timeout. Stand up again defense, we need you.

6:41 First down Washington after a great throw and great catch by the tight end. Locker had pressure in his face.

6:42 Another big run to the left side away from the blitz, another missed tackle by Harrison Smith. They’re inside the 15 and the clock is under nine minutes.

6:44 Two runs puts the ball to the six yard line, 3rd and 2.

6:44 Touchdown Huskies. 12 play 75 yard drive that burned over five minutes off the clock.

6:47 They review the play and it’s overturned. Washington ball at the half yard line. The Irish push them back on first down. This is just burning more clock, we need to stuff them and hold them to a field goal or we’re in serious trouble.

6:48 Incomplete to the flat. Huge 3rd down here.

6:49 THE IRISH HOLD. LOCKER IS STOPPED INSIDE THE TWO YARD LINE.

6:50 Washington kicks a field goal…but Notre Dame is called for ROUGHING THE SNAPPER?!?!?!??!?!? You have got to be kidding me. They replay it three times and I still don’t know what the hell they could have called. I’m sick to my stomach.

6:51 Washington gets stuffed on first down. We’re now inside of five minutes and the clock is running.

6:52 False start by the Huskies. 2nd down at the six.

6:52 Kyle McCarthy comes out of nowhere to cut down the fullback at the one yard line and save a touchdown. The guy is just Johnny on the Spot. Sidenote: Harrison Smith should’ve made that play but was out of position. 3rd and goal.

6:53 THE IRISH HOLD AGAIN ON A QB SNEAK AT THE ONE INCH LINE. WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE STAND BY THE IRISH. THE HUSKIES ARE BRINGING OUT THE FIELD GOAL UNIT. That was nine plays inside the ten, five plays inside the two. What unbelievable heart the defense just showed right there. We need to pull this game out—between this stand and the one earlier they deserve to be celebrated after this game.

6:54 Washington kicks the field goal. That drive was 19 plays and burned 9:19 off the clock. Two minutes left and the season’s fate has once again been placed squarely on Jimmy’s shoulders. My Dad is yelling and pacing around the living room. I feel the same way I did against Purdue. I’m hoping Jimmy woke up from the funk he’s seemed to have been in today (can someone please perform an exorcism that eliminates the ghost of Pat Dillingham from the sidelines?). He is going around to the offense getting them fired up which is a good sign.

6:57 Theo Riddick has a nifty little return over the 35 yard line. Under three minutes left. 63 yards to paydirt.

6:59 Offsides on first down gives Notre Dame 1st and 5 with 2:49 left. 58 yards to go.

7:00 Completion to Shaq Evans for a first down at the 50. 50 yards to go.

7:01 Completion to Robby Parris for a first down at the 30. 30 yards to go, 1st down with 2:15 left.

7:01 Clausen scrambles for a yard, 2nd and 9.

7:02 JIMMY HITS GOLDEN TATE FOR 17 YARDS TO THE 12 YARD LINE. 1st down out of bounds with 1:25 left.

7:03 TOUCHDOWN IRRRIIIIISHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KYLE RUDOLPH IN THE CORNER OF THE ENDZONE ON A FADE PATTERN!! WHAT A DRIVE. We’re going for two to bump the lead up to three—we need this badly. You know Locker is going to lead them into field goal range; it’s just going to come down to whether they make or miss the kick.

7:05 ROBERT HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD WHAT A RUN BY HUGHES. HE’S STUFFED AT THE FOUR YARD LINE AND (WITH CHRIS STEWART’S HELP) MOVES THE ENTIRE PILE IN FOR A TOUCHDOWN. THAT IS A RUN THAT WILL GO DOWN IN NOTRE DAME HISTORY IF WE FINISH THIS OFF. UNBELIEVABLE, JUST UNBELIEVABLE.

7:07 The returner mishandles the kick and they're pinned back inside the 10 yard line in front of the student section. 1:16 to go. Good Lord please finish this.

7:08 Two plays and 19 yards for the Huskies.

7:08 Pass interference called on Sergio Brown. Shaky call there to say the least.

7:09 Incomplete pass going deep. 2nd and 10 with 47 seconds left, Washington has one timout left.

7:10 Pressure forces Jake Locker to roll right and throw it out of bounds. 3rd down.

7:11 Locker completes a 38 yard jump ball over Robert Blanton. First down at the 25. I feel sick.

7:12 After Locker scrambles for a couple yards they back up with a false start penalty. 22 seconds left, 2nd and 12.

7:13 INTERCEPTION KYLE MCCARTHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE REINCARNATION OF SHANE WALTON DELIVERS THE DAGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LORD WHAT A GAME, I DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT HOW STRESSFUL THIS IS. CLOSE WINS BEAT CLOSE LOSSES ANY DAY. I LOVE IT.

7:14 Interception overturned. This roller coaster of emotions is absolutely obscene. 17 seconds left.

7:15 Locker takes a quarterback draw to the left side and out of bounds. 37 yard field goal attempt with 11 seconds left.

7:16 Timeout Notre Dame. I can see the ice starting to cover the Washington kicker’s kicking meter…

7:17 Folk splits the uprights. Tie ballgame, six seconds left.

7:18 Overtime. Good lord I’ve been so up and so down in the last forty minutes it’s ridiculous. I have so many terrible memories of overtime games in Notre Dame Stadium. Please God make this one different.

7:22 NBC JUST SWITCHED TO AN ACCESS HOLLYWOOD PATRICK SWAYZE TRIBUTE. I’M SO *&^%$@% LIVID THAT I’M LIGHTHEADED. SOMEONE GET ME A BAYER *&^%$@% ASPIRIN IN PREPARATION FOR MY STROKE.

7:24 I turn on the student radio feed on WVFI.com in time to hear Jimmy complete a pass to Golden inside the 5 on first down. Their description of the play was:

“The Irish snap the ball…”
“Run Jimmy, RUN”
“OH WAIT, TATE”
“OHHHHHHHHH”

I had no idea whether what happened was good or bad. I’m losing it, my head is spinning.

7:26 NBC switches back to the game, saving itself from a bomb I was about to strap to my chest and deliver to its studios. This also allows me to turn off WVFI and their play-by-play announcer McLovin.

7:27 Offsides Washington. Inching closer...

7:27 TOUCHDOWN ROBERT HUGHES. His revival literally couldn’t have come at a better time. The light switch has gone back on and he is a force to be reckoned with. Please find a way to finish this off defense, tighten up again.

7:28 First down pass from Locker is incomplete, great coverage by Blanton.

7:29 KERRRRRRRY NEEEEEEEAAALLLLL!!!!!!!!! SACKS LOCKER FOR A HUUUUUUUGE LOSS!!!!!!!! HE DIDN’T HAVE A TACKLE UNTIL LAST WEEK AND NOW I’M READY TO DUB HIM ALL-AMERICAN. HE JUST BLEW BY THE LEFT TACKLE. 3RD AND 19.

7:30 Locker scrambles and finds a wide open receiver in front of Harrison Smith but it goes through his hands. Bullet dodged. 4th down. Ballgame here. Please finish this.

7:31 KYLE MCCARTHY AND HARRISON SMITH DESTROY THE RECEIVER AFTER IT’S CAUGHT INSIDE THE THREE YARD LINE AND HE CAN’T HOLD ON. IRISH WIN, OH BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABY WHAT AN INSTANT CLASSIC. I SAY I HATE THESE GAMES BUT GODDAMMIT TO COME BACK FROM THE BRINK OF A LOST SEASON IS JUST GLORIOUS.

7:32 Two best texts immediately following the final gun:

“Make it a heart attack in four years” –Pat
“Just reserved my funeral for 2025” –Panzer

7:33 I’m still incredulous, how did we pull this out.

7:40 After sending out about 40 texts and receiving just as many I call my buddy Pat, who I’m assuming has started writing his living will. He said he was watching the by himself at his apartment and changed clothes four different times over the course of the game. “I ended up shirtless holding a chain like that lady we sat next to at the Fiesta Bowl that prayed the rosary the entire time.” We will do whatever it takes to will the Irish to victory.

BRING ON THE TROJANS BABY!

THE COUNTDOWN TO THE FALL OF TROY HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN

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