Yack Responds: "Bill, Grab Mooney and Hold on Tight"

Bill said what he had to say pre-game, but Yack won't go quietly into the night. Here is Slatington's favorite son's response to the Brolando, Florida resident.

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Well it's that time of year again. After going on a Charlie Sheen-like bender in Atlantic City and still smelling of $2 rum and cokes and Jack Daniels shots from my unofficial sponsors (the Wild Wild West Casino), I, John Yackabonis, was weary of texts messages from PSU fans. Already agitated by a Temple loss in the A-10 Tournament, the "upset alert" texts and trash talk made me giggle.

I thought out loud, "Why are these people all up in Temple's Kool Aid and they don't know what flavor it is!?!"

One PSU super fan specifically stuck out to this handsome young debonair; and that said person was Billy John Johnson.

Usually this pair of clown shoes sticks to football smack talk, but this year he realized PSU has a basketball team, which most of PSU's campus didn't realize until they'd scored 36 points and mistakenly beaten Wisconsin in a game that was on par with a Girls' PIAA Class A Semifinal.

Well Billy, after all these years and all these bets, let's make it REALLY interesting. If Temple beats PSU like the red haired stepchild they are, you and fellow PSUer Matt Mooney will hold hands for 15 minutes the next time we go to a bar.

Onions!

Here's a lil clip for ya....

Does Billy Johnson scare me? NO! Am I calling the national guard? NO! The Rated R Superstar, aka Mr. Money in the Bank, aka Mr. Big Shot is not afraid of Billy Johnson. The question becomes is Billy Johnson afraid of this bet.

So what's it going to be, roody poo? In the words of Judge Smails:

Temple Basketball 2010: The Latest Preview...Ever

Are we already in to the conference season of college basketball? Sure, but that doesn't mean it's too late for Temple's favorite son John Yackabonis to unleash his season preview for the Owls. Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Dear We Never Graduate Followers,

It's me, John. You might know me from all of the subversive, groundbreaking work that changed the face of this website. Or perhaps you’re familiar with all of the generous charity work I imagine I’ll get around to one of these days. Most of you have wondered, where is John? Is he working for another website? Did he die from making love to too many women? Is he living on the moon? Well in short.... yes to the last two.

Let me start off this masterpiece with taking some time out to deal with my first great writing that most critics proclaimed as Nobel laureate worthy. Well Temple Football you sure did make my face red after this season. Yes, I never believed you could turn it around. Then you did and made me eat a huge helping of humble pie. Well ya got me. Unfortunately we lost to UCLA in the Eagle Bank Bowl, but hell, I never thought that we'd even be there. Hopefully we can build from here on out and make this work.

But now onto my assignment from Editor Matt Mattare's desk: Temple Basketball preview. Well... it seems Temple is 11-3, but I'll go on with the preview for our other A-10 writer Mikey.

G Ryan Brooks Sr - Ryan has done a great job, doing everything Temple fans I assume think he'd do. He's our do-it-all guy. He's our best defender and he's lived up to the billing. A solid all around player that I'm sure there's a lot of teams out there that regret not recruiting this guy. He's the leader of this team and he's been spectacular so far in his Temple career.

G Juan Fernandez Soph - Here is a guy that I thought was completely over hyped when he came to Temple last year. Once again I was proven wrong. Fernandez, has come into his own this season and has put up big numbers against quality opponents. Forget about the Kansas game, everyone played terrible, Fernandez has been living up to his hype and I could not be happier.

G Luis Guzman Sr - Guzman is hands down my favorite player on this team. Now it's my time to go off on this with my opinion. It seems every year Temple fans jump on one player and bash him till no end. I have also been guilty of this. This year it's been Guzman. Well Mr. Guzman I have your back. Two years ago everyone was on Tyndale, last year everyone was on Inge, this year it's Guzman. Guzman is a D1 starting point guard and I know for a lot of people it's hard to understand how talented he actually is. Guzman played for the Dominican Republic National Team, he's got talent. Just because he doesn't score as much as people would like does not make terrible like people make it seem. He's an excellent defender and I do not know him personally, but from his first few years with Temple and his playing time not being that great, you know the guy has a great attitude for sticking with us and working his tail off to earn the starting PG spot this year. The guy has lead us to a 11-3 record! Get off his case. I'll take a winner anyday and that's what Guzman is. So Luis Guzman I got your back.

F Lavoy Allen Jr - Allen is another guy who has lived up to his billing. Every now and again he does not show up offensively like I want, but then like most fans forget he does not have a lot of help down low. Allen has a lot of talent, A LOT, but he needs some help. He really is not getting any right now and his basically playing the entire game, which is even more credit to what he's done and shows how good he really is. He a beast on the boards and his offense is still turning out better than I thought. He might be the best player on this team right now and that's saying something.

C/F Michael Eric Soph - The jury is still out on Eric. He's been battling injuries this season and has not been playing that much. He seems like a talented young guy, but give this guy time. Remember what our coaching staff did with Sergio? I think Eric has a higher ceiling than Sergio, so let's give him some time. Remember too it usually takes longer for big men to develop. He's very serviceable right now so here is to hoping he keeps getting better during the season.

Bench

We aren't the deepest this year, but a lot of guys have been stepping up from game to game.

F Craig Williams Jr - Williams is a puzzle to me. So games he's great, some games I do not even know if he plays. I know it's frustrating for some fans that Williams is not your traditional big man, but he does have a sweet stroke from outside. Consistency is something Williams needs to bring to the table and that has been a problem so far.

G Ramone Moore Frosh - Moore has provided a spark off the bench in a few games. Moore seems like he could be a key contributor to this team, but instead he's just another player who needs to be more consistent.

F Rahlir Jefferson Frosh - Jefferson has been a pleasant surprise for at least for me this season. What I have seen from him this season he's shown flashes of brilliance. Once again though, he's a young guy. Give him time and I think he's going to turn out to be a beast.

F Scootie Randall Soph - Maybe it's just me, but I am just trying to figure out Randall. He has had one good game this season for us and that was pretty much it. He seems like he can help this team. I hope he puts it together and maybe everything will work out for this young guy.

As of right now, I'm pumped for this season. To be honest after losing Christmas, Inge and, Olmos I thought this would be a rebuilding year. We it does not seem that way.

And before you start going and saying how I'm an idiot and how I'm not informed or have no real team insight, this is my opinion. You didn't have to read it. You can start your own blog and go off about how I'm a moron. I wouldn't read it, but I'm sure it would get a lot of hits. I'm pretty rockin

We Never Graduate Extra

I do still go to open gyms at around the Lehigh Valley and Darrun Hilliard is a great young man that Temple does have interest in. He's an excellent player already and he is still growing. He's a silky smooth lefty with a nice touch. He would be a great addition to this team, but he wants to go to Syracuse. Hopefully for us he'll come to Temple though. No matter where he goes Hilliard is an upstanding young man and I'll be a fan of him no matter what his decision is.

NEVER GRADUATE: Temple Edition

In preparation for the Penn State-Temple showdown I thought we'd bring in a Temple grad to give an idea of what gameday is like for a fan of the Owls (specifically the Penn State game). This was a blow-by-blow account of last year's gameday experience.

THE LIFE OF A TEMPLE FAN (An Eye Witness Testimony)
By John Yackabonis (Class of '08)

I woke up like I usually do: sticky, frustrated and unconsciously suckling at a bottle of Beefeaters like it was the sour teat of some great alcoholic mother-goddess. I rolled out of bed and, again as usual, cried for 15 minutes out of regret for the previous night’s mistakes. But eventually I sobered up (that’s just a turn of phrase, mind you) and remembered my new goal in life: go to the Temple game. First I have to turn off Bloodsport, which is is still on cause I need it to fall asleep, and because I was raised right.

To get myself going I stare at the best poster in the world (pictured right).

Alright I'm ready to go. Still not knowing who Temple plays like always, it'll be a good game either way. Temple's football program is comically bad and every now and then they do win an exciting game. Ok let's get the roommates up. Everyone gets into the car, sweet everyone is doing well this morning: 4 cases, the grill, and a football. This is gonna be good.

There's alot of traffic around the stadium, this sucks, I'm already frustrated. What are all these people doing here?!? Awwww shit it's Penn State Weekend... Great I wanna blow my brains out. Philadelphia already sucks, but now it's invaded by Central PA-ers and people of that ilk. I realize this is going to end 1 of 2 ways for my Owls Case 1 and Case 2...in both cases Temple is the villian. I call Reed to tell him I might kill myself, he replied with a "I can only tell you one thing... Do it!".

Finally we get into the parking lot. Lot C is full, this is some kind of nonsense. Ok are our troops are spread out all throughout the parking lot, we all get together. The tailgate is going well there's no mention of football of any sort at this tailgate. Topics such as stealing hot air balloons, fake dog testicles that cost $10,000, and compressions syndrome are littering our conversation. In the mean time every PSU beatoff either has to tell us how their going to kick our ass or yell "We Are Penn State" as they walk by... COOL.

Finally get into the stadium, it's packed, yes! We'll be in the MAC for another year thanks to attendence, we've already won. In the mean time I realize our front row seats are taken, ugh I have to sit in the student section with the rest of the mouthbreathers and shitnecks, that actually think Temple's program is turning around and we could win this game. I think my roommate is coming down with him, as I start walking down he stands still, I ask his he coming? He replies with "Down there? No. But go get'em... Tiger" and gives a firm slap on the ass.

Welp as thought we're getting stomped out. Yes, the Diamond Gems Dance Team is here though, they'll cheer me up. And they do, I start yelling to Kristen, they only Diamond Gem that will talk to me, and boy does she regret that friendship. Eventually she grants my request and comes over and asks me to please stop yelling at her, I play coy as usual. I try to tell her a joke, she already knows where this is going and replies with "Yea, I know what's in your pants, I get it," but I continue anyways and she got it.

Yup the game goes by as a blur, no real Temple highlights, but no real PSU highlights, at least Bowling Green puts up 80 on us and has 7 top 10 plays. Yeah walking out of the stadium every jackass PSU fan has to remind me how much my team sucks and how "State Rules!". Thanks again guys the only way I wouldn't realize that is if I was retarded, blind, or a bag of Fritos. I don't know what their feeding these guys in Happy Valley, but these guys know things they should teach, teach the world.

Needless to say I would be proud too if my team beat the snot out of a terrible team too, but Temple can't even beat Villanova... that was an adventure though. And yes our program is a bunch of candyasses, but your PSU, WHY are you playing us?

If you wanna be big dogs, stop pooping with the puppies. Needless to say I have a strong distaste for PSU fans at games, I like them away from games, but at games PSU fans are some sort of animals. You're no Central Michigan fans, those people are at least nice in victory and in defeat.

And Billy, get your hands off Floyd he could be our biggest recruit EVER.

NEVER GRADUATE