Sunday, September 18, 2011

Dear Diary...Notre Dame - Michigan State

The running diary is back for another dance with the state of Michigan, coming to you live from the Lehigh Valley. Last week’s epic collapse in The Big (and Not So Loud) House provided a boatload of fodder for the trolls to come over and unload in response to the running diary. I tip my cap to the more than 7,000 people that made it over from the MGOBlog, Michigan Rivals, and Michigan Scout sites. You win this round…but your team is still terrible.

Now, let’s move on to Sparty. I’m surprisingly upbeat and optimistic about this game. The law of averages says there’s no way we can continue to completely implode with turnovers....right?

Don't answer that. Let's just get to it.

3:38 And Tom Hammond is back in the booth close talking Mike Mayock in a way that has to result in therapy. Uggggggggggggggh.

3:41 ND will receive from a Michigan State kicker that has a nice, developed beer belly. Or maybe he’s pregnant.

3:44 Notre Dame converts a 3rd and 2 out of the gate with a quick swing pass out to Michael Floyd.

3:45 Cierre Wood rips off a 15-yard run to pick up another first down. It was a little delayed hand-off where he had acres of room to work with—great playcall.

3:47 Cierre Wood picks up another big gain on a quick pitch and he’s already rolled up 37 yards on five carries.

3:48 TOUCHDOWN IRISH!!!!!!!!!!! LADIES AND GENTS, WELCOME TO THE CIERRE WOOD SHOW! GREAT RUN THAT HE BOUNCES OUTSIDE FOR 22-YARDS AND HITS PAYDIRT TO PUT THE IRISH ON TOP! Six carries, 59 yards on the first drive alone. Yeah, that’ll do. 7-0 IRRRRRRISSSSHHHH!

3:51 Tom Hammond comments on Brindza’s fluorescent green shoes. Really? Green?!?!?! You can see that those things are yellow from space! Maybe he was blinded by the glow of our silver helmets? Meanwhile Brindza beats it through the back of the endzone.

3:53 Notre Dame intercepts Cousins’ first pass but it’s coming back due to a holding on Blanton. Damn.

3:55 Three more plays for Sparty and they get absolutely nothing. I’ll chalk that up basically as a three and out. The team and stadium both seem about ready to explode—there’s a lot of pent up rage from the first two weeks of the season that’s hitting a levee pretty hard right now. Irish take over.

3:58 NBC shows a replay of the fake field goal that won the game for Michigan State last year. Speaking of pent up rage…

4:00 Very nice run by Jonas Gray has ND over midfield. That’s three carries and 27 yards for Jonas. The Irish are rollllllling on the ground right now, dominating the line of scrimmage.

4:01 Tommy Rees is sacked and fumbles. Michigan State ball. He was completely lit up from the blindside. The turnover train is running right on schedule.

4:06 NBC flashes a stat that ND hasn’t allowed a third down conversion in the first half through two games. That’s a pretty amazing stat. Remind me how the hell we're 0-2 again?

4:06 FUUUUMMMBBBLLELEEEE AND THE IRISH RECOVER!!!!!!! AARON LYNCH COMES BUSTING IN FROM THE BLINDSIDE AND DESTROYS COUSINS FOR THE FIRST SACK OF HIS CAREER! Notre Dame takes back over at the Sparty 49. I LOVE IT BABY!

4:10 Interception Spartans and it’s returned deep into Irish territory. This turnover problem is like a virus that won’t we just can’t shake. If Rees puts air until that throw it’s a touchdown. Come on defense, step up again.

4:13 Three plays, four yards for the Spartans. They trot out the placekicker and split the uprights on a field goal to cut the deficit. Notre Dame 7, Michigan St 3.

4:16 TOUCHDOOOOOWWWWNNNN IRRRRRRIIIIISSSSHHHHH!!!!!! GEORGE ATKINSON TAKES THE KICKOFF TO THE HOUSE FOR SIX AND THE IRISH ARE BACK IN CONTROL! HOW ABOUT THESE FRESHMEN MAKING AN IMPACT!?!?!?! 14-3 IRRRRRRRISH!

4:22 Great catch by Cunningham picks up a third down conversion for Michigan State. The quarter draws to a close and at this point you’ve got to be thrilled with how things are going for Notre Dame—with the obvious exception of another two turnovers to add to our gaudy and disgusting total for the year. I know I’ve probably said this 15 times over the last three seasons, but I’ll say it again: LET’S STEP ON THEIR THROATS AND BURY THEM.

4:25 Another completion on a slant to Cunningham picks up another first down and Michigan State is at the Irish 27.

4:27 Cunningham again for 15 yards and Michigan State is knocking on the door of the red zone.

4:28 Sparty’s got some rhythm going and they’ve got first down at the 11.

4:29 Touchdown Michigan State. Freshman Troy Niklas fell down and got beaten by the tight end. I can practically feel the fifty posts on Rivals going up about switching to field turf. Ugh. Notre Dame 14, Michigan State 10.

4:35 Three and out for the Irish. Guess what? Ben Turk is coming out to punt. Guess what he does? He unleashes a crappy punt. Imagine that. I give up. Tell me how Brindza can be worse? Michigan State ball at their own 45.

4:40 The defense holds and forces a punt. Lynch and Ethan Johnson get in to disrupt Cousins on third down and force a bad throw. The Irish get the ball back inside their own 10 with 8:25 to go in the half. Let’s put together a nice little drive here, shall we?

4:45 Notre Dame gets bailed out with a pass interference call on third down. We look completely out of sync. This happened a lot last year too; we get out of rhythm on offense and go into a funk for 3-4 drives. Come on, snap out of it.

4:47 Rees converts a big third down with a pass to Eifert on 3rd and long. The drive continues with about six minutes left in the half.

4:51 Big completion from Tommy Rees to Michael Floyd for 33-yards and Notre Dame is into Spartan territory.

4:52 Another big run on first down by Jonas Gray for 13 yards and suddenly the Irish offense is rolling again.

4:52 First down at the five yard yard line after Rees completes a dart to Tyler Eifert. Great throw. First and goal.

4:53 TOUCHDOWN IRISH! CIERRE WOOD BULLS INTO THE ENDZONE WITH AUTHORITY! The play is reviewed and confirmed. Ruffer rips the extra point through the uprights and the Irish go 92 yards to extend the lead to 11 with 3:36 to go. Notre Dame 21, Michigan State 10.

4:59 So for whatever reason Brindza bounces a short kick and Sparty responds with a 42-yard return. I’m just kind of confused. Michigan State ball at their own 47.

5:01 On the first play of Sparty’s drive, a Michigan State offensive lineman gets his leg rolled up on by…Louis Nix. If there was a fill-in-the-blank that started “Of everyone in the entire stadium, I would not want my leg to be rolled on by ________,” the name Louis Nix would probably be #1 on my and most people’s lists. Tough break for the kid.

5:06 Cousins completes a 21-yarder and the Spartans are driving inside the Irish 20. Come on defense, tighten up.

5:09 Notre Dame holds the Spartans and forces a field goal attempt from the 2-yard line with 52 seconds left. I guess I should say “apparent field goal attempt” when dealing with Michigan State. They call timeout.

5:11 Michigan State attempts the fake and it’s STUFFED. TAKE A SEAT DANTONIO. Kelly would’ve been fired on the spot by about 1.4 million Notre Dame fans if we would’ve given up another successful fake field goal. Irish ball.

5:15 Notre Dame takes a couple knees and we’ll head to half leading 21-10.

As a Notre Dame fan you’ve got to be very happy with the first half. Offense and defense both look good, though once again we’ve turned the ball over twice. For the most part we’ve locked down the Spartan attack—and stopped a fake field goal that would’ve given me a stroke had they converted—and have moved the ball pretty effectively.

Yet again the Irish will have a chance to bury a team. Don’t let them hang around—it’s time to just put them away and restore a modicum of confidence not only within the locker room but in the stands as well (which is more important than some people realize…a toxic environment outside the locker room is only counterproductive).

5:39 Notre Dame forces a three and out on Michigan State’s first drive. Good start! The anti-Joey Getherall fair catches the punt and the Irish take over at their own 29.

5:42 TJ Jones converts a 3rd down on a quick slant. Good throw, good catch.

5:43 A nice little completion to Theo Riddick is good for seven yards and it’s followed by an offsides by Michigan State, which means another first down for ND.

5:45 Another third down conversion, this time 22 yards to Michael Floyd.

5:46 TOUCHDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN IRISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TJ JONES REELS IN THE TOMMY REES CATCH AND THE IRISH JUMP OUT TO A 28-10 LEAD. BUUURRRRYYYYYYYYYY THEMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!! TJ Jones is whacked with an absolutely absurd penalty when he puts his gloves up to signal to the fans. That's the dumbest call I've ever seen that didn't happen in The Big House.

5:54 Michigan State picks up a big third down. Dan Fox was there but was worried about getting there a little early for pass interference and didn’t tackle him.

5:55 RJ Blanton with a sack on the corner blitz, loss of 11. BOOM BABY!

5:56 Lynch draws an offsides on third and a mile, making it third and a mile and a half. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Tuck 2.0.

5:56 Michigan State is forced to punt. Goodman tries to return it, which naturally turns into a negative play. Whatever. Let’s turn this bad boy into a BEATDOWN.

5:58 While serving me my fourth margarita of the game, my Dad informs me that he’s three margaritas ahead of me. When I call bullshit, he responds that he’s just stating facts. Challenge accepted. You definitely won’t regret this one, Dad.

6:01 The Irish are rollllling. Another first down to Michael Floyd, described by the HD Gremlin as “an easy 13 yards.” I love 13 easy yards.

6:03 Alex Flanagan randomly lets us know that Michael Floyd was in trouble this offseason and now lives on-campus. Yes, that was completely appropriate at this juncture of the game and season. Go pound sand, Alex. Seriously.

6:04 Notre Dame is forced to punt. It’s hard to complain when you’re up by three possessions, but I sure would’ve loved to have driven home the dagger on that drive. If there’s anything we learned from last weekend it’s that three possession leads aren’t always safe.

6:09 In the blink of an eye Sparty is punting once again. Lovely. After blasting it into the endzone the Irish will take over at the 20 with another opportunity to drive the final nail in the coffin of this game.

6:13 Three and out for the Irish takes us down to the end of the third quarter. Annoyed that we couldn’t officially away, still pleased to be up by 18 points.

6:16 Ben Turk lets loose a 44-yard punt that Tom Hammond describes as ugly. If the HD Gremlin describes something as ugly then God-DAMN it’s probably really ugly.

6:17 Friend of the blog and former O’Neill Hall resident Farva chips in with the text of the day: “I want to waterboard Mr. Turk.” I can’t say I disagree.

6:22 Michigan State has a ho-hum drive that ends in a field goal. Notre Dame 28, Michigan State 13.

6:26 Tommy Rees is picked off buuuuuuuuuut that’s going to be pass interference because the defensive back was basically molesting Michael Floyd. Give us all 15 of those yards and a first down, thank you very MUCH.

6:29 Notre Dame’s drive stalls, which means it’s time for the Ben Turk Experience…and he lays down a BEAUTIFUL coffin corner kick that pins Sparty on the 1! LOOK AT YOU, BEN! WELL DONE!!!!!!

6:35 Alex Flangan lets us know that Kirk Cousins is an internet sensation because he has a video on YouTube that has 110 hits. #headexplodes

6:41 Michigan State is forced to punt with 4:30 left…and John Goodman fumbles. You have got to be KIDDING me. YOUR ONLY JOB IS TO FAIR CATCH PUNTS, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!? I FEEL LIKE PUNTING MY DOG. NOT A BIG PUNT, JUST AN AVERAGE BEN TURK PUNT…SO 28-YARDS OFF THE SIDE OF MY GODDAMN FOOT. Michigan State ball knocking on the door of the red zone.

6:42 Quick throw has Michigan State first and goal inside of the 10-yard line. You’ve got to be kidding me.

6:44 INTERCEPTION ROBERT BLANTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEESSSSSIIRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE TAKES IT BACK ALL THE WAY TO THE MICHIGAN STATE 12. PUT THIS GAME ON ICE BABY!!!!!!!!

6:48 Notre Dame chooses to go really, really conservative and just take three points. Ruffer rips it through the uprights and the Irish lead 31-13. Boo-yaaaaaah baby!

6:57 Michigan State is slowly working down the field as Aaron Lynch terrorizes Kirk Cousins basically every time he drops back to pass. Sparty is inching toward the goal line but they’re running out of time

6:59 Michigan State turns the ball over on downs and THAT my friends, is the ball game. WELCOME BACK NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL!!!!!

7:00 QUEUE ME UP SOME JOHNNY DRAMA…

7:01 Oh my God, disappear Alex Flanagan.

7:03 LOOOOOVE THEE NOTRE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME! People who hate on the alma mater at the end of the game and say it's too dreary or melancholy obviously don't know what it's like to belt it out after a victory. I'm not saying there have been all that many opportunities to belt it out after W's over the past few years, but it's great when it happens. Thumbs up to Weis for starting this.

7:04 Oh God, I love this exchange between Robert Blanton and Dr. Alex Flanagan so, so much:

Dr. Flanagan: You played a great game. Was it the best game of your life?

Blanton: (Pauses and thinks)...No. No m'am.

(More pausing)

Dr. Flanagan: Have you heard about Kirk Cousins' video on youtube? It has 110 hits. It's an internet phenomenon.

(Aaron Lynch blindsides Flanagan with a steel chair...student body goes wild as the band plays the angry, aggressive drum cheer that happens after big defensive plays)

Alright, well at least the first three lines of this encounter happened in real life.


Great win. It'll be nice to head into work with a bounce in my step Monday. One down, nine to go...

GO IRISH

5 comments:

  1. Nice, and so much nicer to read after a win!

    On the Brindza kickoff that looked like a line drive, the ball started falling off the tee right as he kicked it. (not sure if they showed that on TV). It's amazing it went as far as it did -- all I was thinking was talk about tough breaks! Good thing it didn't matter.

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  2. “Of everyone in the entire stadium, I would not want my leg to be rolled on by ________,”

    I vote for the "I Beat Anorexia" guy, if he's still alive

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  3. We sang the Alma Mater after games (including the rare loss) back during Lou's time. My questions is, who was the clusterfark that stopped it before Charlies restarted it?

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  4. I could have sworn we sang it when Ty was coach.

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  5. We've always sung it, the whole thing is whether we should have the team go over right away and sing it with the student section. I think the fans that have a problem with the order of when things are played/sung need to find something else to bitch about.

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