GOING 'ROUND THE WORLD

The Irish regular season is over but that didn't mean it wasn't an action-packed weekend of college football. The Miami series renewed a couple years ahead of schedule, Irish recruiting victories, Cam Newton's ridiculous season continues, and the FAIL to end all FAILS. Let's go around the college football world for some quick hits.

I feel it'd be too much to ask Bill to do back-to-back Two Dudes, One Posts so I'll tackle them myself. ONWARD!

Catholics vs Convicts in El Paso

Most people thought ND would be spending the holidays in Disney World, but in a somewhat surprising move the Champs Sports Bowl passed up the Irish which sent Brian Kelly's boys to the Sun Bowl. The happiest person in America? The President of the Sun Bowl, Amen Ayoub, whose prayers were answered when two big name programs landed in his lap. Amen--a man short on consonants but long on hyperbole--said at the press conference to announce the matchup, that "this is absolutely unbelievable, this is the greatest game we've ever put together here in 77 years of the game."

I know that Oregon State's 3-0 victory over Pitt in the 2008 Sun Bowl set the bar pretty high, but please Amen, you're making us blush. Are we really expected to top when the Southwestern US beat the entire country of Mexico in the 1945 edition of the game???

Enough gushing from Amen. I'll admit I wasn't giddy at first about facing the Canes when the matchup was announced. The only reason is the fact that we have them on the schedule in a couple of years and I would've liked to have faced off against a different team we haven't played and aren't supposed to play in the future (perhaps a shot at revenge against Jon Tenuta?).

But the more I thought about it the more excited I became. The Irish and the Canes is a fun matchup and who knows? Maybe there will be an incident that provides a spark that reignites the fire of hate that once burned hotter than any other in Notre Dame's football history (yes, even more than Southern Cal). Am I rooting for a brawl or anything like that? No, but I'm hoping this is a heated contest that provides a preview to what could be a mega-showdown in 2012. The matchup at Soldier Field could be a watershed "look how far they've come under their new coaches" moment for two programs mired with problems the past five years.

Miami is a very, very talented team. Randy Shannon has left the cupboard relatively full and if they can lure a high quality coach then they should have a quick rebound in a conference full of mediocrity. The Irish are going to have their hands full in this game and my early thought is that if nothing else the Under (46) looks pretty damn good.

It's Morning in Notre Dame

I don't know how many of our readers check out the blog House Rock Built, but you should add it to your favorites because they pick up steam with every video they make. This week's is worth reposting. A tip of the cap to the puppeteers that put Jim Henson to shame.

Cam Newton: The Devil outbid Mississippi State and Auburn for his services

I realized something during SEC Championship right after Cam Newton completed a Hail Mary pass at the end of the half that effectively shot a cannonball into the bow of the Gamecocks' sailboat. The reason there was allegedly only money discussed with Mississippi State and not Auburn in this Newton Pay-for-Play Scandal is the fact that before Auburn could offer Cecil Newton accepted a fat, Alex Rodriguez level deal with the devil. Isn't that the only explanation for what's been happening over the past three months?

There are FBI wiretaps that caught the shopping of Killah Cam. There's a mountain of evidence (topped by common sense) that says he knew what his father was doing. The NCAA has acknowledged in its preliminary findings that Cecil Newton clearly partook in attempted to obtain money for the services of his son. Despite all of this Cam found a way to break yet another tackle--this time the attempted tackler was the law, so this is far and away his most impressive escape of the year--and against all odds maintained eligibility.

This temporary absolution by the NCAA has cleared the way for one of the biggest landslide Heisman Trophy victories in history and War Eagle storming Glendale for a National Championship showdown. He has had an undeniably spectacular year on the field. His statistics are jaw-dropping, his highlight reel mind-blowing, and his performances in pressure packed situations were spectacular. This should go down as one of the greatest individual performances in the history of college football.

Unfortunately the chances all his feats are eventually stricken from the record books is far greater than the chances they remain. The NCAA laid the smackdown on Southern Cal for their transgressions this spring, they need to do the same at Auburn. And honestly, from the sounds of it the things that have transpired at Auburn are worse than what happened out in LA.

Isn't it truly sad that we're going to have to deal with two vacated Heismans in six years and they're two of the most dazzling ones of recent memory? Why couldn't it be Jason White that had his vacated? The only memorable thing from his Heisman campaign was how epically terrible he was in his final two games against Kansas State and LSU.

Irish Recruiting Upswing

After a month of bad news on top of bad news on top of horrible news, it seems Brian Kelly has found a way to get momentum going the right direction on the recruiting trail as well as the field. Over the past couple weeks Notre Dame has locked down two solid prospects from deep in the heart of Texas, positioned themselves well down the stretch with some 4-star athletes, and poached the guy many are calling the Quarterback of the Future from the Tar Heels.

I love snagging Cam McDaniel and Bennet Okotcha from Texas and I'm pumped about our chances with some other big names (come on down Ishaq Williams!), but let's focus with the anointed QB of the Future, Everett Golson. He's got gaudy stats, a great presence, and some serious wheels. The only reason he hasn't been ranked high by the recruiting services is his slight stature (6'0", 175lbs), but that hadn't stopped powerhouses like Florida, Ohio State, and Michigan from offering him a scholarship. The fact that he's enrolling early has led some to proclaim that he's going to emerge by the fall as the starter since he's the "best fit" for the spread among the quarterbacks we have.

Irish fans need to pump the breaks a bit on this one. I'm very excited to get Golson and he is a great fit, but he's going to need some serious time in the weight room to build himself up to handle the beating he's sure to take when he finally does get under center for Notre Dame. Everyone seems to forget that current freshmanAndrew Hendrix has apparently looked great in practices and possesses a rocket arm and underrated mobility. And oh by the way, Dayne Crist will be back with two years of eligibility remaining and current Golden Boy Tommy Rees will be there with three.

Golson makes the water even murkier for who will emerge as the starting quarterback for an offensive unit with boatloads of potential for next season. At the very least this battle will provide The Observer with a fun Irish Insider cover where Rees, Golson, and Hendrix are all touching a football that Crist is holding in his hospital bed as Nate Montana fills out his walk-on papers in the background. It'll also give The Guru and me unlimited ammo for our spring ball phone conversations.

Quick! Somebody Call a Doctor! This Kid is Experiencing Life Failure!

I love the Dr. Pepper halftime gimmicks in the SEC and Big 12 championship games. Always have, always will. There have been some pretty exciting victories and some pretty terrible attempts. In this year's SEC Showdown we had one of the most epic fails to date. Let's head to the tape:

Yes, poor Matt from Kentucky not only lost to a girl, but lost to a girl that threw her footballs LIKE A BASKETBALL CHEST PASS. If you watch the video at the 31 second mark you'll see him glance over at her once he's exhausted his supply of 10 footballs. The girl (Nikki) has one ball left and with victory already in hand delivers an "EFF YOU" victory chest pass straight into the heart of the giant Dr. Pepper can.

Matt got to see the EFF YOU chest pass which means he got a good look at what he lost to. At the 32 second mark you can see reality sink in for young Matthew as he looks on in disbelief: not only has he blown the chance at $123,000 in tuition money, but now he'll have to endure never-ending ridicule from his friends for losing to this chest-passing girl who attacks her chewing gum like it tried to steal her purse. If I were him I'd just cut bait and find new friends, there's just no coming back from this one.

Here's hoping when ESPN rolls out another documentary series for its 50th anniversary that they do one on how this kid's life turned out. There's an 80% chance it'd be more interesting than the "30 for 30" on the origin of Fantasy Baseball, which could've been done in approximately eight minutes on E:60 and saved me 52 minutes of my life.